Chinese Farmer Invents Electric Scooter Suitcase

suitcase-scooter-1.jpg This is the suitcase scooter invented by Chinese farmer He Liang. It can not only carry your clothes, BUT CARRY YOUR ASS TO THE AIRPORT (provided you leave the night before and are cool cruising on the side of the highway in the dark at 12MPH). No word if it stands any chance whatsoever of getting past the TSA and onto a plane.
It can carry up to two passengers, cover distances of up to 60km (37 miles) and maintain a speed of up to 20km/h (12mph). It's powered by a rechargeable lithium battery and can be steered with handlebars when seated. The special suitcase, which He has spent 10 years developing, is dubbed the City Cab. There is apparently just as much space to keep your clothes as with normal luggage and when it's empty it weighs just 7kg (15lb). The newspaper says City Cabs has now been patented as a multi-functional travel device, and He is hoping to see it on the road soon.
Impressive, but you know what would be even cooler than a suitcase scooter? "A suitcase jetpack." A SUITCASE JETPACK. "I just said that." I know but I'm ignoring you because I didn't think you were going to guess correct. I only asked because normally you're terrible at guessing and I like to tell stories about how ridiculous you are when I meet my friends at the bar for happy hour. Now you've taken that away from me. "First world problems." Oh shit, the oxygen recirculator is malfunctioning -- we're running out of air! Quick, prepare for capsule evacuation. "What the hell are you talking about?" Outer space problems. Keep going for one more shot.