Philippines Zoo Offers A Four 20-Foot Pythons Massage

snake-massage.jpg The Cebu City Zoo in the Philippines is now offering Python massages. For a small fee, thrill-seeking visitors can lay underneath four 20-foot Burmese Pythons and freak out until zookeepers remove them. The only problems are 1) Burmese Pythons are constrictor killers, so if one manages to go for your neck while a zookeeper isn't paying attention you're a goner and 2) although they say they feed the pythons chickens before a massage, Burmese Pythons are opportunistic feeders, and will continue to eat even when they're not hungry. There is no way I would go for a massage with these guys without a sword in each hand. Oh shit, it's going for my leg! *slash slash slash* Whew. Wait...did I just-- "Cross your legs, freak out, then hack through your shin? Yes." Oh boy. So if I apply for medical insurance today, how long till I can see a doctor? Keep going for a video demo.
  • By Geekologie - Gadgets, Gizmos, and Awesome
  • Posted in Gadgets
  • Tagged animals, but are you allowed to lick them during the massage or is that frowned upon?, different strokes for different folks, dying, freaky deaky, Massage, seen here realizing just what bad decisions she makes, snakes, thanks but no thanks i'll just sit in the massage chair outside of brookstone at the mall, the Philippines, tourists, zoo
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